Hard to Get


Let’s talk about how to CORRECTLY play "Hard to Get" and how to get him interested in finding out more or seeing you again.
Are You Wasting Time on a Guy?
First I’d like to poke a hole in the popular single-mindedness of the single woman.

Are you giving up too soon? I often hear women say they can’t seem to get a relationship to evolve romantically and decide “I’m going to give up on this guy.” Ostensibly, they are avoiding “getting hurt” or

“wasting time.”

Really? I find it EXTREMELY shallow to imagine that a woman wants to spend time with a guy ONLY if it’s leading to a romantic relationship. Shallow, but common. Think about it. What do you like about this guy? I’ll bet you’ll go ahead and list a bunch of honest qualities about him –sense of humor, style, confidence, good looks, charm, friends, conversation, popularity, status – things like that. But then you’ll say that you only want to spend time with him if he’s going to advance your romantic relationship? In other words, all the things you say you like about spending time with him – platonic hopeful time – are a waste if they do not lead to a romantic relationship? This is as shallow as the guy who feels that conversation, dinner and dancing with you is a waste of his time if it doesn’t lead to sex.

Unfortunately, if you are spending time with a guy that you think would be wasted if it doesn’t lead to romance, it’s probably wasted time now. Why do I say that? Because doing things you enjoy doing wouldn’t be a waste of time otherwise.  If you don’t enjoy time with this guy then why would you ever want to be in a relationship with him? It would seem that you are suffering time with this guy with the hope that the prize of a relationship will make it worthwhile. Sounds a bit needy, doesn’t it?

“But I’m wasting time that I could be spending with other guys!”
Then don’t! Do you mean other guys who are more boring but might become your boyfriend? Or perhaps other guys who are extremely exciting and fun to be around, but may not become your boyfriend? Are you all for the result?

If you don’t have time to spend with other guys, then you already have a boyfriend. You see, if you are turning down time with other guys because of this guy, THAT is your mistake. The Hard to Get person you pretend to be should be able to hang out with guys platonically, right? So, if you are hanging out with guys for the fun of it, are you wasting your time?

Continue to Clingy vs Hard to Get Article.


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